And things ending in 'olly'
by Captain Cendol
Summary: Christmas is coming. Someone unexpected comes to buy a present in Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. What is he looking for, exactly? And more importantly - who is it for?


I was bored, so I wrote this on New Year's day. Funny how I haven't published anything for over a year - uni life is crazily hectic. I miss writing about Iris.

_**Disclaimer: **Potter, the Weasleys and co. belong to Rowling. The title is from Pratchett's 'Hogfather'. _

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* * *

_And things ending in 'olly'

'_Deck the halls with boughs of holly_,' the girl sang softly in the quiet gloom of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. '_Fa-la-la-la-la-la.' _She reached up and placed bright-coloured boxes on the shelves above her head. _'Tis the season to meet Molly, fa-lalalalalalala._' She stood back and surveyed her work critically, tucking strands of her blue-streaked hair behind her ear.

The dolls in the boxes waved their wands at her; some appeared to be scolding her. And they all looked remarkably like Molly Weasley. Another of the Bossman's great ideas for Christmas gifts, apparently – because who wouldn't want their own personal Molly Weasley to scold and lecture them whenever they broke their parents' rules? It had been a big hit with parents, not so for those unlucky few who would open their presents on Christmas morning, to find a doll who would tell them what their parents wanted them to do in Molly Weasley's voice.

She sighed, stretched her arms above her, and went back to stacking boxes on the shelves. She could have done everything within seconds with a sweep of her wand, but it was only 7 a.m., the Bossman wouldn't be in till 9, with his red hair sticking up at the back, and Albus knew what sticking to his clothes. She still had ample time to kill before she went to make his tea and open the shop. Sides, it was Monday morning, just ten days before Christmas. Fat chance of a customer coming in so early for 'a special request'.

She sensed the customer at the door before the bell pealed through the shop. The girl paused in her work, smoothed down her purple work robes, and was at the door seconds after the bell started ringing.

The man on the other side of the glass was tall, hidden under a cloak with its hood up. She had a glimpse of a neat pair of black boots before she unlocked the door and stepped back to let him in. The Sneakoscope hidden under the counter didn't even make a squeak; he was all right then.

'Good morning,' she chirped, leading the way into the shop, where it was warmer. 'I'm Iris. How can I help you?'

The man shifted from one foot to the other, before clearing his throat and reaching up with his black-gloved hands to lower his hood. Iris stared for several moments at the familiar pale pointed face and blond hair, before recovering her composure and fixing a smile on her face.

'I'm just…looking around,' the man said. He seemed ill at ease, and no wonder – Iris wondered how the Bossman would react when she told him later that the famous Draco Malfoy had come to the shop early for Christmas shopping on a Monday morning.

_Did you sell him something useless and expensive?_ Iris shook her head to clear the Bossman's voice from her head. Of course he would say that – she shouldn't spoil the fun by finding out what he would say before he did.

'Do you have anything in mind? A gift for someone perhaps?' she suggested, gesturing to the row of new merchandise on display.

Malfoy took a step back from the row of Molly Weasley dolls, his face going through a series of strange expressions. Iris, not knowing what else to say to the weird Malfoy guy, picked up a doll and held it before her.

'You can tell it what you want or don't want your children to do,' she explained. 'Things like, 'eat your veg', or 'don't make out with your boyfriend'. She has a few special phrases programmed too, like 'Don't make me send you a Howler!' or even the special Molly shriek for a particular child's name.'

Malfoy's face was all politeness. 'How…interesting.'

'We have other new merchandise as well,' Iris went on. She put the doll back on the display table and picked up a bottle of clear liquid. 'This helps you to recover from a hangover, and then _helps you remember exactly what you did when you were drunk_. The Clarifier, also known as the Knurd Potion.'

'I see.' Malfoy cracked a pained smile. 'I was looking for something more…mature.'

Iris bit back a giggle and headed further into the shop, where there were rows of bottles in a screened-off alcove. 'How about some love potions? There's also a whole range of Dream potions here, with your fantasy of choice. The Bossman's thinking of expanding into personalized dreams, but he realised that his ideas won't be as demented as the things some people want.' She paused and picked up a bottle at random. 'We keep our records of customers' needs in code, so you don't have to worry that there's anything incriminating we can tell anyone.'

The expression Malfoy had was something Iris would laugh over for weeks to come. 'When I meant mature…'

Iris grinned. 'No worries, Mr. Malfoy – but do you have any preferences?'

'I didn't tell you who I am,' he said, flushing suddenly. 'How did you know?'

Iris took a step back. 'I'm sorry – it's just – I know – I've read about you – we learnt about the Battle of Hogwarts in school – '

'I see.' He stripped his gloves off his long pale hands and tucked the gloves into his cloak. 'In fact, I _do_ have something in mind…'

'Erm. What would that be?'

Malfoy stared off into space for a few seconds. 'What would you suggest I give to a woman my age?'

'Er.' Iris fought the laugh that was rising in her, turning it into a cough. 'Er. Are you thinking of something funny, or thoughtful, or wondrous…'

'All three.'

'What – all three?' She gaped at him. Malfoy _was_ weird. _Wait till the Bossman hears about this!_

'All three,' he repeated firmly. 'I want something that will make her laugh, and make her feel that she's appreciated, and also make her wonder how it's done.'

'Well we might have some hum'rous lingerie – '

'For Merlin's sake, not lingerie!' Malfoy cut in, flushing a deeper red than he had done before.

'Right, right.' Iris hurried to the other end of the shop, with Malfoy following close behind her. 'We might have those chocolates left – '

'Do you think it's a good idea to give chocolates?' Malfoy said as she climbed the stairs to the next level. It was the _Expensive_ level, as the Bossman called it. It warranted the capital letter, because: a) only bored rich kids could buy the goods here, b) there were some things the Bossman didn't want the Ministry to know about and c) some customers wanted _really_ _expensive_ stuff.

Iris snorted. 'Of course it is. Who doesn't like chocolate? Me, I'd settle for a whole box of Cadbury's for Christmas, nothing else. With caramel filling, of course.'

'Cadbury's?'

'Muggle chocolate. Usually cheap stuff, but hey, I'll stick to bourgeois chocolate if it tastes that good. Now Godiva – '

'I didn't know Weasley made chocolates too,' Malfoy interrupted.

'Oh, it's something he doesn't shout about.' Iris waved a hand vaguely at the shelves they were passing. 'The shop's famous for joke stuff, but once in a while the Bossman gets bored and tries something different. I remember when we were trying to perfect the recipe for the Levitating Liquers – best month of my life, but I had a hard time downstairs.'

'I thought we have Levitating Liquorice for that,' Malfoy said, a slight smile growing over his face.

'Believe me, those liquers aren't for the kiddies. We have wizards who have, erm, ideas for what to do in the bedroom – '

'Spare me the details.'

'Yessir.' She came to a stop before a particular row of shelves. 'Here we are.'

The snowglobes glowed faintly in the semi-darkness, flakes of snow catching the light from the single window further down the passage and twinkling in the poor light. They were empty, although as Malfoy leaned in to take a closer look at the globes, he thought he could see the snow swirling to form various shapes which resembled…people? Places?

'What do these do?' he asked.

Iris took one off the shelf, handling it carefully. _This_ was one of the Bossman's favourite inventions, and he had made about twenty or so only. For some reason, he hardly talked about it, although she knew he kept one beside his bed in his flat over the shop.

'Look carefully.' She held it on the palm of her hand, raising the globe to eye-level. Then she shut her eyes and concentrated on an image.

Malfoy watched as the snow began to swirl faster and faster, a blizzard growing within the little glass world. A shape was growing within the snow – there was a hint of towers, and there was a lake between hills in the far corner –

'Hogwarts,' he said softly.

Iris opened her eyes, and they watched as the snow solidified into a miniature Hogwarts castle, every tiny detail in place, every corner and curve perfect. Malfoy's eyes widened as the snow began to turn to different colours, and within a minute, the snowglobe held a perfect replica of Hogwarts, with stray flakes of snow falling onto rooftops and battlements.

'That's not all it can do,' she said. 'Look.' She shut her eyes, and the castle dissolved into another snow storm. When it formed into solid shapes a few minutes later, Malfoy found himself looking at Professor McGonagall, evidently giving her start-of-term speech at the welcome feast.

'It works with your memories,' Iris explained. 'It responds to every memory you have, and makes these replicas.'

'Can I try it?'

Iris deposited the globe on to Malfoy's outstretched palm. McGonagall dissolved into whirling snow, to be replaced by a younger girl in Hogwarts uniform, with books in her arms, and bushy hair –

'Is that Hermione Granger?' she said, curiosity getting the better of her. 'Are you buying this for her?'

'How do you know it's her?' Malfoy opened his eyes and stared dazedly at the mini Hermione Granger as she climbed a twisting staircase.

'_Everyone_ knows Hermione Granger.' Iris shook her head and laughed. 'She's Harry Potter's best friend!'

'Yes, yes, of course she is.' Malfoy sighed and gave the snowglobe a little shake; Hermione Granger dissolved into formless snow again. 'How much does this cost?'

'Quite a bit, and then some,' Iris replied cheekily. 'Why are you buying this for her? Is it for Christmas?'

Malfoy chose to ignore her question. 'Does it only respond to the memories of the person holding it, or can you program it to form other people's memories too?'

'Oh you can program it.' Iris took out her wand and placed the tip of it to her temple. She thought of Hogwarts, focused on it, and then gently took the wand away from her temple. A silver strand came away on the tip of it. She laid the strand on the top of the globe, where it sank into the glass and melted over the dome, turning the globe silver. 'Watch,' she said. The silver gradually faded, and within the globe was the replica of Hogwarts that had formed earlier.

'Does it respond to any specific spells or…?' Malfoy looked at the globe uncertainly, not meeting Iris's eyes.

'You can program it to respond to words or phrases.' Iris tapped the globe once. 'Hogwarts. There – now whenever someone says 'Hogwarts', it'll automatically form the castle. Cool magic eh?'

'Curious,' Malfoy agreed.

'Do you want this wrapped?' Iris said, bouncing on the balls of her feet. Whoop, it wasn't even 8 and she had her first sale of the day.

'Yes.' Malfoy followed her back down into the shop with the snowglobe held like a precious thing between his cupped hands, his eyes never leaving the minuscule Hogwarts that remained within it.

She rang up the sale, recorded it in the log she kept for 'special requests', and within fifteen minutes Malfoy was out of the shop with the little box safe in his coat pocket. And then there was nothing more to do but to wait until 9 for the Bossman to stumble downstairs.

'I saw Malfoy,' said a voice from upstairs.

Iris jumped, and then tilted her head back to see the Bossman leaning on the stair rail on the floor above. She watched as he came down the stairs wearily, his purple robes trailing over the steps. His freckled face was paler than usual; it was one of those sleepless nights again, she guessed.

'He bought one of your snowglobes,' she said, as the Bossman reached the last step. 'Said it was a Christmas present for someone.'

'Did he say for who?' George Weasley climbed on to one of the stools at the counter and dropped his head into his arms.

'I'll go make the tea – ' Iris began to edge out from behind the counter, but the Bossman had other things besides tea on his mind.

'No, tell me why he bought it.'

'Er – I _think_ it was for Hermione Granger…'

George raised his head, his eyes wide. '_Hermione?_'

'He didn't say exactly, but she appeared when he tested the globe…'

George ran a hand through his already tousled hair. 'This is new. I know they've been civil to each other for a few years, but this is…unlike Malfoy.'

'He's weird.' Iris shrugged and walked a few steps backwards. 'Tea, boss? Did you sleep last night?'

'Didn't.' George smiled crookedly and dropped his head into his arms once again. 'Never mind – bring the tea.'

**The week after Christmas**

The woman who entered the shop looked familiar to Iris. There was something about the hair there that she couldn't quite place, but she had definitely seen her around somewhere.

'Can I help you?' said Iris brightly, approaching the woman, who had her back to her.

The woman turned – _Oh, it's Hermione Granger!_

'I was looking for something…' Granger began. 'Erm – did Draco Malfoy come in here before Christmas?'

'Yes…yes he did,' Iris said. 'Are you buying a present for him too?'

'Oh no!' Granger turned pink and laughed nervously. 'Well – I'm just looking round.'

'I can get the Bossman for you if you want. His brother came in the other day.'

'Ron?' Granger looked at me in surprise. 'I thought he's out of the country.'

'No no, the other brother, the one with glasses who looks like somebody's Arithmancy teacher. Talks like a History textbook and laughs like a hyena.'

'Oh…you mean Percy.' Granger giggled. 'He _does_ have a strange laugh – thank you for telling me that, but I don't think I'll bother George today.'

'Whatever suits you.' Iris fiddled with the radish earring on her right earlobe. 'Anything I can help with?'

'I'm looking for something…festive.' Granger frowned and paused for a few moments. 'No – that's not the right description. I'm looking for something…hilarious. Something that says optimism and a good beginning. Something to remember the new year.'

'Something jolly, you mean,' Iris said.

'Yes – that's what I meant.'

'Well…we have the Molly dolls here – '

'_Not_ what I have in mind, thanks,' Granger said hurriedly. 'I can see her in person.'

'Right, point taken. Step this way, Miss Granger. I'll show you what I think would be suitable. Things that are jolly, things that remind you of holly – '

' – maybe not the holly, it's after Christmas – '

' – and other things ending in 'olly'.' Iris stopped before a particular shelf and beamed as she held out the bottle to Hermione Granger. 'Would this interest you?'


End file.
